One thing that I always remind moms to do, is not to forget to ask for help. That may sound a bit silly but often times we forget that it’s okay to ask for a helping hand. We can do it all, right? Laundry, cleaning, doing the dishes, cooking... the list goes on. We are strong and will figure it out. Of course, but the point is that it’s okay to ask for help. In fact, I encourage you to ask for help more often.
A mom with a new little might spend the majority of the day holding her baby and that’s doing so much already! It’s important not to forget to get rest and tend to yourself too. There may not be much time at all in the first days and weeks of postpartum for all those daily tasks, and that’s okay. That’s why help is so important. Your partner may be an amazing hand when you need one but they too might feel a little overwhelmed by all the new. That’s why today I’m giving you five tips on how to make asking for help easier.
1. Make a list
I recommend that all my clients make a list of simple to-dos, and hang it on their fridge. These can be as simple as laundry, dishes, and taking your dog for a walk. That way when a visitor is eager to help, you can offer for them to choose something off the list!
2. Hire help!
Another amazing way to make asking for help easier is to hire it! Postpartum doulas support families through the transition of having a new baby. Their purpose is to help a family with their unique needs (laundry, dishes, meal prep, etc.) so new parents can feel more rested and supported. Postpartum doulas are much more than just a helping hand. They are professionals who are experienced in giving support in things like breast/bottle feeding, supporting new families during postpartum, and infant care too. I mean, what new parents could pass on an opportunity like that?
3. Remember who you can call on
I also encourage my clients to write down who they can call on, when they are best reached, and what they can call on them for. For example, I can call on my best friend anytime during the weekend to join me during my trip to the grocery store. You can even include amazing resources like your local Le Leche League and care professionals.
4. Don’t forget to be a helpful hand when you can
Helping someone goes a long way, and knowing you’ve been there when someone else was in need may make it easier to ask them in return. I don’t mean helping others when it may hurt you, or only helping others for your own benefit, but remembering what you’ve done for a friend may help you remember that there’s nothing wrong with asking for help.
5. Lastly remember why you’re asking for help
You’re navigating hormones, caring for a new baby, allowing your body to recover after giving birth, and so much more! You deserve help, no one should try to conquer it all themselves.
A few weeks ago I was visiting my sister (who has three little ones, ages five, three, and nearing one year) when she asked if I could help her fold some clothes. My face lit up, and I not only folded an entire basket but I put them away as well. Little did she know, I was eager to help with anything she needed and was so proud of her for asking for help. She could've easily let the laundry continue to feel overwhelming, and I would've never known she could've used an extra hand. That moment inspired me to write this blog reminding mommas that its okay to ask for help. It is not always an easy thing to do, but it’s most certainly worth it!